It's Time To Wake Up And Start Respecting Each Other

 There has been a large buzz in the media lately about a news anchor who responded on air to an email she received. I was alarmed by how many people said she should have just kept her mouth shut and not been bothered. Why shouldn't she speak out against something that I consider to be an attack? If he has the right to make the comments she has a right to respond. This is the age of keyboard warriors who feel like they can say whatever they want to people without consequence. The part that scares me is that a lot of women were agreeing with this guy. What the hell ladies? So much for fighting against the objectification of women. That's taking a couple steps back when you agree that this woman isn't doing her job right because she doesn't look like a model.

I am so unbelievably sick of people that feel like they have the right to attack people because they are not shaped like barbie. When was the last time you heard a large person say "Look at that bitch over there eating a salad. That's so gross I'm gonna walk right over there and say something. What a disservice to children and society. This is what's wrong with the world today. I bet she goes to the gym too. UGH!". You've never heard that? Huh, fancy that, neither have I. 

 I would like to know why it bothers some people so much that not everyone is a size 2? What is so bad about accepting people as they are? I've  noticed that the same people who don't accept other people as is usually have an excuse as to why they don't.This is one of my favorites : I'm just worried about their health- Oh bitch please, no you're not. It makes you feel better to be condescending.  I guess I just don't understand why people are focused on waist size when there are SO many more issues for us to be putting our effort in to.

I would like to take a minute and address two of the stereotypes I've heard so many times. 1) You're not thin therefore you are lazy- WRONG! That is not the case for everyone. I could work out until the cows come home and I will never be skinny. I run around with my son who is going to be 2 in January (how is THAT not active?), I care for my 2& 1/2 month old daughter all day every day, I have to make sure the house is clean and make sure everything runs smoothly. I don't think that counts as lazy. Plus not every thin person is super active.

2) Everyone can make time for the gym- Wrong again. Let me throw you a little example from my life. I have two children under the age of two and my husband works about 55 hours a week. Even when he is home I can't just ditch him with the kids. He worked a long day, how would that even be remotely fair? We divide the work so neither one of us burns out or goes nuts.

All arguments aside, I would like to know what is so offensive about a woman not being ashamed of her body no matter the size. I'm not ashamed of my body. I'm not ashamed of my size. The person who matters, other than myself, is my husband. He loves me, he is attracted to me, he supports me, and he's not ashamed of me. Why can't we show support for each other or keep our mouths shut? The nastiness is taxing and I'm just about done with it.

 All shapes and sizes are beautiful. If it doesn't happen to be your preference then you should be respectful of other people and move on without being a jackass. Just because you don't like how someone looks doesn't mean you get a free pass to attack them and completely disregard their feelings. It's time we all start acting like the adults that we claim to be.

My Possible Trip To Holland

Since the beginning of August my husband and I have been playing a waiting game. In my opinion it's one of the toughest waiting games a parent can play. We've been waiting to find out if our son has autism. I've been very quiet about this because I didn't want to make a big deal about it or have it seem like I'm looking for sympathy/attention. This process we're going through is another step in my sons life and there is no reason to keep it under wraps. Here is the first part of our journey.

In August my son had his 18 month check up. My husband and I knew that he wasn't talking and that he was at least delayed. We had talked about our concerns with each other but we wanted to give bub more time before we voiced our worries to the pediatrician. When we went to the appointment we filled out a little questionnaire about his development. At the end of the visit our pediatrician came back in and told us that she was going to process a referral to Child Development Services  because she was concerned about autism as well.

At first I didn't really know how I felt about the possibility. I cried because I thought we did something wrong that ultimately resulted in us somehow hindering him. Then my husband had to go to Ireland on account of a sick relative. So there I was, without my husband with our 18 month old son and our 2 week old daughter. My brain was spinning about how to feel. Then my husband called me and told me to look up a bit of writing called Welcome To Holland. I cried again and realized I was looking at things all wrong. 

 The woman that I met today is amazing and got me the referrals that I need to proceed with yet another evaluation. I'll have to wait another couple of weeks to find out for sure if he has autism. In the mean time we will be having meetings with the special educator twice a week so we can help bub move forward regardless.

 The journey and the destination might be different, we don't know yet, but my son is an amazing little man. I would move mountains to make sure he gets the help he needs and I'm working with a team that is helping me do just that. No matter the outcome I am still the luckiest mom to have two of the most amazing, lovable, smart, incredible, beautiful children and I would never change this life I have with them for anything.

An Odd Occurrence At The Fair

Since I had my daughter at the end of July I've gotten quite a bit of attention every time I bring her into public. The combination of a small infant and a Moby make me a magnet for comments. I'm usually not bothered and I actually don't mind talking to people about my daughter or the wrap and how it works. Today, however, someone crossed a line into bizarre territory.

My husband and I decided to bring the kids to the fair today. When we got there I Moby'd up and my husband put our son in the stroller. With everyone packed in we embarked on our mission of fun. After making our rounds to the craft tents and the animal stables we went to the maple shack (maple soft serve ice cream? YES!). We were then approached by an older couple. They were asking about little miss so I pulled back the Moby so they could see her. The conversation went as follows:

Husband: Aww how old is she?

Me: She's five weeks old as of yesterday.

Wife: Oh she's a little one isn't she?

Me: *smiling* Yes indeed

Husband: *looking at my son* How far apart are they?

Me: They're 18 months apart.

This is about the time the husband and wife start talking at the same time. So just imagine the chatter with the husband trying to drown out his wife...with good reason.

Husband: Oh that's good.

Wife: Oh wow, busy woman.

Me: *slightly uncomfortable chuckle*

Husband: *laughing uncomfortably as well* alright it was nice tal...

Wife: *to my husband* You stop it

Me: *no longer laughing* Ooookay

After this the husband looked mildly horrified and half walked away/ half dragged his wife into the maple shack.

Okay. Seriously, who the hell says that? First she calls me 'busy' which could either mean I have my hands full or that the hubby and I spend a ton of time in the sack. THEN she tells my husband to stop it. I wish I misunderstood what she meant but I don't think I did. It was tempting to assure her that my two pregnancies were the result of mutual want and mutual sex drive. Not my husband being a horny jerk and badgering until I gave in.

To date this is the creepiest/weirdest comment I have received from a stranger regarding my children. I don't know how the hubby sat silent during this whole exchange. Probably because it was so awkward. What's the weirdest/creepiest comment you've ever gotten from a stranger?

Why I No Longer Think I'm Suitable To Go Out In Public

This is pretty much how I'm feeling

I think I've finally reached that point in my pregnancy where it might be best for all if I stay away from public places unless I have a chaperon. It may sound extreme but after my experiences yesterday I think I'm on to something. Even when I'm not counting down the days until I no longer waddle I have a very low tolerance for the stupid people that try to blend in with the general public. I can usually keep my feelings in check by whispering my various grumps to the hubby. He's very good at telling me whether or not I'm being a heinous wench, which is something that I actually appreciate. Lately though...lately I have wanted to remove people's faces with my bare hands and present it to them as a token of their defeat. I'm not usually this bad and I honestly think it's my crazy pregnancy hormones rearing up their nasty little heads. 


I'll start off by explaining where I am at with my pregnancy. I am 38 weeks pregnant. My son came 2 weeks earlier than his due date and I'm officially more pregnant than I have ever been. My daughter is trying to crack my hips in half with her little dome. This is yet another thing that I never experienced with my son. Come to think of it, a lot of the aches (doctors call them aches, I call them sharp pains that I can't escape) that I'm having this time around are things that I didn't feel the first time around. My doctor says it's totally normal so I'm rolling with it.  As I'm sure you've experienced yourself, or at least can imagine, constant pain makes momma cranky.


Now to the events that lead me to believe that I shouldn't be let in public without a chaperon and a choke chain. Yesterday while at the store y husband and I got glared at by a middle aged man in a parking lot for taking the spot he was going to take. This guy was in the car by himself. The reason it pissed me off was because we parked in an expecting mothers parking spot. This man was mad at us because we took a spot that he should not have been trying for in the first place. I thought to myself 'well that's dumb' and was fully prepared to move on with my life when I looked out my window and saw an employee park next to me. An employee who did not appear pregnant. If she was she was too early to show. Trust me when I say that her shirt was tight enough for me to see if there was a baby bump. So now I'm all ticked off wondering what the hell is wrong with people. Do they not see the sign? So after both of those incidents I was pretty mad. 


Unfortunately there was one more thing that happened that day. I went out with a friend of mine to the movies and before we went we grabbed some Wendy's because she was hungry. There were these two girls that were giving us dirty looks. I have no idea why. Maybe they look like that normally? Who knows, but if you look like you suck lemons for a hobby you probably shouldn't scowl at people. That makes it worse. But of course in my irrational, hormone riddled brain I'm thinking the absolute worst and getting more irritated by the second. In my head I figured they were looking at me because of how pregnant I am and being all wenchy because of how young I am. 


Perhaps they were, perhaps they weren't, but either way I can't be walking around with my metaphorical battle ax out waiting to chop off heads. Looking back on my day I think I had a good reason to be pissed about the first thing that happened. As far as the second thing goes, that's the real reason why I think I need a muzzle. People are always going to stare no matter what and my rational brain knows that. My not so rational brain is tempted to whip out inappropriate body parts and ask them if they like the view better. I obviously know what the better option is. I have less than a week until my c-section so if I can keep it reined in for 6 more days perhaps I will avoid some unnecessary jail time for indecent exposure or worse.

Stop Making Pregnant Women Afraid Of Their Doctors

I am so friggin sick of seeing articles where women are telling each other not to trust their OB's. They should question every medical decision their doctor makes during the labor process(because it may not be on their birth plan), and that they feel cheated if it ends in a c-section. Guess what sugarpots, I had a very detailed birth plan for my son. 


Let me start out by saying that, as smart as you think you are and as much as you know your body, your doctor has gone through years of school and birthed many babies. They have seen what you are going through multiple times and just want to see both you and your baby on the other side of delivery safely. If you truly don't trust the doctor that you have then you should do your research and find one that you do trust. To me it is a sad day when doctors choose just to do gynecology because the insurance it too high or there are too many risks of getting sued in today's 'me me me' society. Most of these doctors have our best interests at heart. It's not all about the money to them.



Maybe I'm a little touchy about this subject, but I can give you a couple reasons as to why I am. First off, I had a very detailed birth plan. I wanted no pain killers (made it 24 hours without them). I wanted everything 100% natural (I had to get pitocin to speed up dilation because of how long ago my water broke). Then to top it all off I got a raging uterine infection. My 32 hours of labor ended with a c-section.  Do I resent my doctors? Hell no. They did everything they could so I could have a natural labor. They actually asked me if I wanted to continue when I had a fever that was over 102 degrees. I couldn't believe they actually asked. I told them to do what they had to do to get the both of us through it safely. And that's exactly what they did. They asked because they didn't want me to accuse them of being surgery-happy later on. 


The second thing that makes me so touchy is that in these same articles I feel pressured to do a VBAC. There is the implication that you're just not giving it the can do attitude if you opt to have a scheduled c-section. There is a 20-40% chance that your VBAC will be unsuccessful. I'm not willing to open myself and my daughter up to those complications just because a group of women (who are not doctors) think I should. I will make my parenting decisions and you can make yours. I promise I won't judge you, I just expect the same respect in return. 

The last thing that I can't seem to wrap my mind around is that the women who write these articles seem okay with putting their child at risk in order to get their perfect birthing experience. What is the point? My train of thought ties back to the things that I have already said. The doctors understand the risks. They also understand that they are damned if they do and damned if they don't. If they don't opt for c-section in a high risk situation and something happens to the baby they will be brought to court and asked why they didn't perform a c-section. If they do perform the c-section they are asked if it was 100% necessary and if there was anything else they could have done. Doctors are human too and I have a tremendous amount of respect for them. Instead of asking why they are doing what they are doing maybe you should try thanking them for being there for you.

Why I Won't Make My Kids Give Affection If They Don't Want To

Today I found an article on CNN where a mom writes about how she doesn't force her daughter to give hugs or kisses. She always make sure she is polite and greets people accordingly, but physical affection is not a requirement. A lot of the people commenting on the article were appalled. Some even went as far to say that raising your kids like this is what's wrong with the new generation. Seriously people? You can call me whatever you want, but I refuse to make either of my kids hug or kiss anyone if they don't want to.


 Why would I force my children to give out physical affection if it makes them uncomfortable for any reason? Kids are little people with thoughts and feelings. Just because we bring them into the world does not mean that we own them. My son is 17 months old and stranger danger is something that we deal with on a regular basis with him. If he cries when someone he doesn't know tries to hold him I don't make him just deal with it. It does not matter to me if you are my best friend or even a family member, you have to earn his trust if you want him to be affectionate with you. That's just common sense to me. I don't hug people if I feel uncomfortable, therefore forcing my kids to do so just feels wrong to me.


The part that seemed to rile most of the readers up was that the author didn't make her daughter hug her grandmother. However she does tell her daughter that she can hug or give a high five. People couldn't understand why the author wouldn't just make her do it. I do see where the author is coming from though. From what I can remember I was never forced to give affection as a child. I did hug people but it was because I wanted to and still maintained good relationships with the ones I chose not hug.


Giving your child the right to choose who they give affection to does not mean that they are going to grow up being spoiled, self-centered brats. There are a ton more factors that go into allowing a child to be that way. I personally think giving your child the right to choose and the right to trust their instincts will teach them to respect themselves. This is purely my opinion. As you may have picked up in my other blogs, I fully believe in parenting as you see fit and not judging others. Always do what feels right and what works for you.

I Think My Little Heart Melted A Smidge Today

Beautiful doe at the sanctuary

 If you've read some of my other blogs you may have noticed that they tend to be on the ranty or sarcastic side. Today is different though. Today my faith in humanity was restored a little.


The hubby and I decided to take our son to an animal sanctuary today. We've been going to this place a couple times a season for the last couple years. It's off the beaten path. They don't really go out of their way to advertise or ask you for money. They take in all sorts of animals and nurse them back to health if it's needed. The atmosphere is so relaxed and it's just an overall great experience every time we go. You can really tell that the people who own it really love the animals and give them all that they can. If you couldn't tell I'm very fond of this place.

A lion sleeping in the heat

On top of all the things that make me feel all warm and fuzzy about this place I saw something that absolutely melted my heart. The founder is regularly out and about and will sometimes do demonstrations to educate the kids that are around the park at any given time. Today I saw him take a tortoise out of his little enclosure so I a mentally handicapped boy in a wheelchair could get an up close look at him and actually pet the tortoise. Pictures were taken of the boy and the tortoise and I don't know if that boy could have been any happier. 


That one action made that boys day and mine as well. The founder went above and beyond to make sure this boy had an experience that was truly special. You really don't see many people that do honest and sweet actions anymore. He didn't do it for any benefit other than making that boy happy. That one action really moved me. I'm just glad I was fortunate enough to witness it.


Here is a link to their website. It really is an incredible place.