Why I No Longer Think I'm Suitable To Go Out In Public

This is pretty much how I'm feeling

I think I've finally reached that point in my pregnancy where it might be best for all if I stay away from public places unless I have a chaperon. It may sound extreme but after my experiences yesterday I think I'm on to something. Even when I'm not counting down the days until I no longer waddle I have a very low tolerance for the stupid people that try to blend in with the general public. I can usually keep my feelings in check by whispering my various grumps to the hubby. He's very good at telling me whether or not I'm being a heinous wench, which is something that I actually appreciate. Lately though...lately I have wanted to remove people's faces with my bare hands and present it to them as a token of their defeat. I'm not usually this bad and I honestly think it's my crazy pregnancy hormones rearing up their nasty little heads. 


I'll start off by explaining where I am at with my pregnancy. I am 38 weeks pregnant. My son came 2 weeks earlier than his due date and I'm officially more pregnant than I have ever been. My daughter is trying to crack my hips in half with her little dome. This is yet another thing that I never experienced with my son. Come to think of it, a lot of the aches (doctors call them aches, I call them sharp pains that I can't escape) that I'm having this time around are things that I didn't feel the first time around. My doctor says it's totally normal so I'm rolling with it.  As I'm sure you've experienced yourself, or at least can imagine, constant pain makes momma cranky.


Now to the events that lead me to believe that I shouldn't be let in public without a chaperon and a choke chain. Yesterday while at the store y husband and I got glared at by a middle aged man in a parking lot for taking the spot he was going to take. This guy was in the car by himself. The reason it pissed me off was because we parked in an expecting mothers parking spot. This man was mad at us because we took a spot that he should not have been trying for in the first place. I thought to myself 'well that's dumb' and was fully prepared to move on with my life when I looked out my window and saw an employee park next to me. An employee who did not appear pregnant. If she was she was too early to show. Trust me when I say that her shirt was tight enough for me to see if there was a baby bump. So now I'm all ticked off wondering what the hell is wrong with people. Do they not see the sign? So after both of those incidents I was pretty mad. 


Unfortunately there was one more thing that happened that day. I went out with a friend of mine to the movies and before we went we grabbed some Wendy's because she was hungry. There were these two girls that were giving us dirty looks. I have no idea why. Maybe they look like that normally? Who knows, but if you look like you suck lemons for a hobby you probably shouldn't scowl at people. That makes it worse. But of course in my irrational, hormone riddled brain I'm thinking the absolute worst and getting more irritated by the second. In my head I figured they were looking at me because of how pregnant I am and being all wenchy because of how young I am. 


Perhaps they were, perhaps they weren't, but either way I can't be walking around with my metaphorical battle ax out waiting to chop off heads. Looking back on my day I think I had a good reason to be pissed about the first thing that happened. As far as the second thing goes, that's the real reason why I think I need a muzzle. People are always going to stare no matter what and my rational brain knows that. My not so rational brain is tempted to whip out inappropriate body parts and ask them if they like the view better. I obviously know what the better option is. I have less than a week until my c-section so if I can keep it reined in for 6 more days perhaps I will avoid some unnecessary jail time for indecent exposure or worse.