Why Must We Squabble Like PMS-ing Hens

If you're a mom you have come across, and maybe been a part of, the dreaded 'Mommy Wars' dun dun dunnnn. There is so much pressure out there to be super mom. What can we possibly do to ease the pressure?  Why don't we just  hack away at each others mothering? That should do the trick (take note of the copious amounts of sarcasm I used). There is not right or wrong way to be a good mom which is what makes it such an easy target. As long as we're taking care of our kids we should be happy with each other, shouldn't we? Some people just can't figure out how to do that. Mind you, I am in no way excusing people who cut others down, it's an asshole thing to do no matter what, but I am a firm believer that there is a difference between and excuse and a reason. I've got a couple possible reasons that I will be sharing in a little bit.

I've seen many articles that appear to be trying to tear us ladies apart. The most recent was one that I think unintentionally pitted working moms against stay at home moms. The author based her whole article off of one comment that a SAHM  made. The comment was ' I'm a stay at home mom because I don't want daycare raising my kids'. She made the point that daycare is no substitute for a mother and I 100% agree. I had no problems with what the author wrote whatsoever. She made really great points. It was the women that were commenting who were the ones that seriously pissed me off. Like eyeballs throbbing kind of pissed off.  I saw a lot of women rallying against stay at home moms. Saying that we're the ones who talk all the shit. Yet here they were cutting us down for our choices too. One lady even insinuated that since we stay home that we have no life goals (that's about the time my eyeballs started to throb actually). All I wanted to comment in response was 'is it nice up there on your tower of self-righteousness? Because from this angle I can see straight up your stuck up nose into that empty head of yours'.  I did not say that though. I chose a much more civil route and compared the squabblers to the sneeches. My maturity is showing again, isn't it?


I have never once thought someone was less of a mother for choosing to go back to work to support her family. Not once. I'm sure there are women out there who think it's wrong, but that's just their opinion. It doesn't make it the truth, so why get so defensive? We all make decisions that best fit our families. So why all the bitchy, judgmental bullshit? There are a couple reasons that I can think of as to why we do this to each other. One is that we're our own worst critics and second guessers, so putting other people down makes us feel better about ourselves and the things we choose to do. Some women might be envious of the working mom and what she's accomplished so she bashes her. Or the working mom might be envious of the time the SAHM gets with her kids so she cuts her down. Once again, possible reasons not excuses, it's still a shitty thing to do. Second, everyone thinks they have the right answer. We do things the way we think is right and some people get a little too carried away with their high and mighty right-ness. This comes in all forms, from unsolicited advice to downright bitchy comments. 


I know the world isn't perfect but I really think we should be working together and trying to get along as moms. Not picking each other apart like hungry vultures searching for the weakest link. If we stopped clucking like hens we could actually be a pretty awesome support team for one another. To bring us back to my sneech comment earlier, why does it matter if we have stars on our bellies or not? We're all strong women working towards the same goal. We all want to raise intelligent, loving, open-minded, accepting children. The best way to do that is by example and practicing what we preach.