Why Must They Pick On The Cat in the Hat

This morning I was looking for a picture of The Cat in the Hat for an update on facebook.  One of the links I saw was titled "The Very Un-P.C. 'Cat in the Hat' Turns 50". So being the inquisitive little bugger that I am I decided to give it a read because I wanted to know why they thought it was so un-p.c.What I found was a painfully short article where they made their point using another article that couldn't even be located. The quote the article was based around was:

"For starters, anyone need a reminder on the basic premise here? Two little kids of maybe 6 or 7 are being harassed by a large, threatening animal and its accomplices. Worse, the two have been left for an entire day without adult supervision. . . . Get the cops. Bring in a social worker and quick." 

As soon as I read the article I decided to double check the definition of the term 'politically correct' because I wasn't sure that the point made was actually an issue of political correctness. I pulled my definition from the Merriam-Webster dictionary.The definition is 'conforming to a belief that language and practices which could offend political sensibilities (as in matters of sex or race) should be eliminated'. Having read the definition I do not believe that the old version of The Cat in the Hat is un-p.c. whatsoever.  

 I find it interesting how people are so quick to call something un-p.c. The author even goes so far as to say that this book is so politically incorrect that it probably wouldn't get published today. I guess it's easier to get all butthurt over something as innocent as a children's story than to just take it for as it is. Obviously the story is supposed to be whimsical. I really don't think that Dr. Seuss was an advocate for child neglect.  

Perhaps it was the talking fish or the talking cat that made me see from a young age that this was just supposed to be fun. I don't know about anybody else but I know I get a little ticked when people decide to pick apart innocent things from my childhood. I was a smart enough kid to know that my parents would never leave me home alone before I was old enough and that if a 6 foot tall cat showed up at my door I probably shouldn't let him in.

I'm not going to take away books from my kids just because they have  wild, completely impossible plots. These are the stories that I grew up with and loved. People are always going to find something to bitch about no matter what it is. In a way I feel bad if the author if the quote has kids because I'm sure he could find hundreds of things wrong with any particular kids book or movie. For that I think he is a sad little man. I'm almost more baffled that a mom agreed with him to the point where she wrote an article about it. Let your kids be kids and have their stories. Don't suck all the magic out of being a kid.

Why I Blog: A Peek Inside The Mind of a SSAHM

I think that part of the reason that I started this blog is because, overall, most people just don't 'get me'. I've got such a dry sense of humor that when I say something completely sarcastic people don't know if I'm joking or not and that can definitely make things awkward. I do have to to say I enjoy the looks of disbelief I get when people are trying to figure out if I'm kidding or if I'm a total nut job. I also don't really believe in sugar coating things. I'm very 'tell it like it is' and some people really can't handle it. That being said, it does make finding good friends a little on the tough side. I'm lucky enough to have a solid few that do exist on my side of the computer though.


Another reason that I share my crazy is that I've been looking to connect with other moms like me. I know I've said before that I am the first out of my group of friends to have a child. That leads to people not always understanding what I am going through even if it is a very common 'mom problem'. Nor do they always understand that when I complain,  it doesn't mean I love my little bub or my hubby any less, it just means I need to blow off some steam. This blog allows me to do so in a manner that is humorous and truthful all at the same time. It allows me to reach out and talk to people that are going through the exact same things.  


Those two things make up a big part of who I am as a person so why not set out on a quest on the world wide web to find like minded people? Another odd little component is that I like to make you guys smile, laugh, think, or any other number of things that will keep you engaged. I'll be honest, I love having my little corner of the web where I can say what I want, post what I want, and get feedback for it all. I do value your opinions (even if it is an asshat-like way sometimes). 


I know I'm still pretty new at this, but so far I have loved every minute of sharing my thoughts and my insanity. I hope you all continue to enjoy it.

Saddle Up. The Hormonal Pregnant Woman Is At It Again.

I know that some of my friends read this blog so that should make things interesting. All I can really say is that this is how I feel uncensored.


Sometimes I feel like, as a stay at home mom, I get left out of the pack. I'm the first out of my friends to become a mom. I feel like there are times when they don't know what to with or about me so they just disappear. This started happening when I was pregnant with my son. I really don't think I have changed all that much since the miracle of life graced my family. I'm still the same sarcastic person I was when they met me. I just have a bit more responsibility now. Yes, my priorities have shifted but to me it's a good thing. 


A big pet peeve of mine is that some people act like I am broken, as opposed to being pregnant. That leads to them deciding what I can and can not do. I do not need people informing me of what my limitations are. I also don't appreciate it being an excuse as to why I'm never asked to do anything. How about this, you ask me if I want to do something or if I feel up to it and I will tell you one way or they other. Believe me, I won't hold back.


I wouldn't be so ticked about this if it hadn't been something that I recently ran into. I was invited to a going away party at a pub and I opted to go since it sounded like a ton of fun. Throughout the evening comments were made by a particular individual that pissed me off, but for the sake of the evening I held my tongue. That particular individual mentioned wanting to go dancing. I was then informed by someone else that that wouldn't be possible since I was pregnant. The response by the suggesting party was that I could just sit and watch on the side. Way to tell me what I can and can't do followed by ' how did you know that's how I wanted to spend my friggin evening?'. There were a couple of offhanded comments made during the rest of the evening by the same person (who I really don't know, mind you) but I brushed it off. At the end of the night I was asked by him if I could really buckle my seat belt "because of how huge" I am. Oh yes, that is a quote. He called me huge. Needless to say the evening reinforced the thought that being a recluse isn't such a bad idea. 


When I tried to talk to one of my friends that was there that night about what was bugging me I was brushed off with a  "Oh he just doesn't like pregnant women". Once again, yes that is a quote. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around  that while not becoming pissed off, but I tell ya it is not an easy task. I don't give a sweet flying fuck if you don't like pregnant women. I really really don't. I was pleasant all evening even though I felt like a beach ball and was being treated like an inconvenience. I am SO sorry that I chose to procreate with my husband. You will have to excuse me for making YOU uncomfortable and therefore snarky just because I'm pregnant.

My Encounter With The Overpriced: A List Of Budget Friendly Alternatives

As some of you may know, I tend to poke around online at the various parent websites and read the articles and blogs. I came across an article titled "10 Must Have Products For Baby's First 3 Months". Naturally I took a peek seeing as I will be welcoming another family member at the end of July. I usually don't feel strongly enough one way or the other to say much about them, but this time was different. What I found was a list of high priced items and all I could do was cringe at the thought that a first time mom would see this and get more stressed out by the price tags. So here is my personal 'get this not that' list for the items. There are a couple that I thought were reasonable and I will state my case as to why as we go along.

* Her Item: Graco Pack N' Play- $199.99. The features on this pack n' play include a changing table, bassinet option, and a little canopy. 

*My Item: Graco Pack N' Play- $99.99. The features on this pack n play include a changing table and bassinet option. However if you wanted an even less expensive option you can go with the pack n play that only has the bassinet option for $62.99.

* Her Item: Halo Sleepsack- $26.96. This product is essentially a sleeper sack that velcros in the front so it becomes a swaddler as well.
* My Item: Halo Sleepsack- $19.99. I found the exact same product on Target.com for cheaper.


* Her Item: Sleepy Hat by Zoe B Organics- $16.99. I did not look for a comparable item for less because I really don't think I would consider a hat that has little tabs for you to flip down over your babies eyes a necessity.  


*Her Item: Aden & Anais Bamboo Swaddlers- $40 for a three pack.     
*My Item: Carter's Swaddler Blankets- $10 for a two pack. In my opinion it really doesn't matter what wrap your baby up in as long as they are safe, comfortable and happy. My son hated being swaddled so saying this item is a must have for every baby is an incorrect statement.


*Her Item: Rumparooz Cloth Diapers- $23.50. I didn't use cloth diapers with my son and I don't intend to with my daughter so I honestly don't think that I could give an accurate critique on them. I believe it is one of those sections of parenting that is strictly what you prefer to do.     


* Her Item: Blooming bath- $40. This is a foam cushion that you put in the sink that is shaped like a flower.
* My Item: Cushion Bath- $25.99 at Target.com. Also if you have no interest whatsoever in using a  foam bath there is always the Deluxe Infant Bather for $15.99 which is also available at Target.

* Her Item: Enjoye Professional Grade Breast Pump by Hygeia- $289.

*  My Item: Ameda Purely Yours- $160. My advice for breast pumps is to see if you can rent before you buy for a couple of reasons. First, I had a very hard time breast feeding my son due to milk production issues. I gave it my all but he ultimately ended up picking the bottle after a little over a  month. Second, what exactly do you intend to do with that pricey piece of machinery once you are done with it? I'm not sure I would be too hip on buying a used breast pump.

*Her Item: Essential Nursing Tank by Bravada- $39-$49 each. Think about that. EACH. The author of the article also mentioned that she owns four of these bad boys. That is almost $200 on tank tops alone. Which to me is insanity.

* My Item: Nursing Tank Top- $10.99 at Target. I personally think that the better option would be to invest in a really awesome nursing bra or two and just wear a regular tank top at a normal price. I did decide to be fair and provide an alternative.

* Her Item: The Moby Wrap- $40. I did not list for an alternative for this item because they seemed to be similarly priced. Also, since this is an item that will be tethering your child to you, my theory is to go with what gets some of the best reviews since it directly involves your child's safety and you wouldn't want to risk a nasty spill for your wee one.

* Her Item: The Mamaroo by 4moms- $199.99. I do have to admit that this gadget it pretty cool. Would I call it a necessity? No. This item is one of the few of it's kind so I didn't really find anything to compare it to. In my experience though a regular swing works just as well. The ones that I did price on Target.com ranged anywhere from $49.99-$239. 

The whole point that I'm trying to make is that it doesn't always have to be the biggest, most expensive item you can find in order to get the job done just as well. I feel like most women are like me and don't have a disposable income where you can spend over $1000 on stuff that some people might consider optional luxuries. In the end it is all about preference and it's really not up to me or anybody else to judge what other moms happen to purchase. I just wanted to make it known that there are more budget friendly alternatives because I know I am all about being budget friendly.

Noise Making Toys Are Evil Part 2

This is the serial giggler mentioned below.

The other day I wrote a blog about how much I loath noise making toys. I came to a realization that I left out one really big reason why I hate them. It's actually rather amusing how my memory got jogged too. I put my son down for a nap and dubbed around for about a half hour before I ended up going to the bathroom. Which is an impressive length of time for me considering I'm pregnant and I feel like I spend more time in the bathroom than anywhere else. While I'm doing my business I hear this creepy little sing-song voice from the living room say 'It's fun playing games with you'. I really see no way that the stupid thing could have still been on. Needless to say, if I hadn't been perched so gracefully there may have been an accident.


This is not the first time that Bub's toys have woken up from their demon slumber to remind me they're always watching. I've had many occasions where I've been getting ready for bed and I walk across the living room to turn off the light and this one toy in particular will friggin giggle at me. Seriously. The damn thing will giggle at me when I'm in the middle of the living room in the dark. It's fabulous. So I'll creep over to it and make sure I turn it off for good until the morning when Bub will inevitably want to play with it. Sometimes this is accompanied by a triumphant little snicker of victory on my part (mature, I know).


Part of the reason I was so surprised this afternoon is because they usually wait until nightfall to be little creepers. Bub is usually up playing with them and utilizing their intended purpose, which I have no issue with until he makes them all squawk at once. There is more about that in the previous article though. Not today though. Maybe they are just keeping me on my toes. All I can say is I can't wait until I can be rid of these toys for good. Unfortunately I have a long time to co-exist with them. Let's just hope their takeover happens after I pawn them off on somebody else.

My Very First Rant. Buckle Up Lovelies

        The other day I was perusing through a couple of  articles on a website for parents and spouses. I came across an article that was written in response to "14 Things your should not say to your wife". I read through it, I found some of the things he said to actually be humorous. Others not so much. I will elaborate on that in a few moments.
         I decided to see what the original article had in it that made this guy feel he had to retaliate. I know my side of the genders and am fully aware of how unpleasant we can be sometimes. I was expecting a real hormone infused bitchfest complete with Ben and Jerry's and sweat pants. What I found was a bunch of things that I figured would be common sense not to say. Some were mundane while others were silly. There was one where I really thought 'you can't blame the guy for asking where his socks are'. That one totally applies to me because I honestly have a general knowledge of where most things are. I know the hubby figures it saves him time to ask instead of dig like a dog trying to remember where he buried a bone. I could honestly understand how they would deserve a 'Hunny do you really think I'm stupid or something?' from the male populous. But over all the list was harmless in my opinion.
        Back to the response blog. Please keep in mind that I am not easily offended nor am I over sensitive. Some of the things I found myself taken aback by really don't even apply to my relationship. I just thought the presentation was pretty frigging rude. Here are the ones that irked me and my response to them :

• How do I look? Be honest- Do you really want my honest response? I'll tell you, and chances are you're not going to like it. You're the one reading the fashion magazines, you're the one who knows that cork heels are on trend or whatever. I'm watching sports. If you're happy with what you're wearing, I'm happy with what you're wearing — now let's go out.

I understand that this is a terrible question if you're with someone who can't figure out how to dress themselves. When I ask the hubby this I genuinely want to know what he thinks. I do care if he likes what I am going out into public wearing. I don't want him to be cringing about some horrid get-up I've chosen. I'm not tossing you a grenade nor do I want an official critique. I'm simply looking for a 'it looks good' or 'I'm not a fan'. If you think I look like a damn fool I will ultimately be happy I asked and got honesty.

• Is the game almost over?   Chances are if you're asking me this, the game has gone on for a long time. It's probably very close, and there is an important play about to happen. You'll know when the game is over because I'll be very happy my team won, or very upset my team lost.

My response to that is pretty much 'Fuck you. If I want to know I'll ask'. Mind you I DO NOT speak to my husband that way. He doesn't speak that way to me either. It's called mutual respect for each other.

• Not Tonight- That new show, 7 Days of Sex, starts on Lifetime this week. In it, couples are encouraged to have sex every day for a week to bring them closer together. Rebuffing your mate's advances puts up walls in the relationship.

I will be the first to admit that I think sex is an important  part of a relationship. Here's the thing chief, if I, for whatever reason, don't want to have sex don't make it seem like I am obligated to. I understand getting shot down every night will put up walls but if you make me feel like it is a requirement you will becoming a lot friendlier with your hand.

        

        I don't know if I'm crazy for reacting the way that I did. The guy's defense to the women who ripped into him in the comments stated that it was all just supposed to be funny. I understand that. I really do. His responses seemed more pissed off than humorous though. Perhaps he is with one of the fire breathing bitches that give us normal women a bad name. Who knows.

The Nuclear Diaper Meltdown

So a couple of months ago while the hubby and I were out and about little man decided he needed to vacate his bowels. This is usually not a problem seeing as it is an every day occurrence. Today was no ordinary day. Since diaper changes are pretty routine we figured we could change him in the back of the car. We were aware that there was poo involved and figured since he had already gone once that day this one would be small. Oh how wrong we were. Bub had, what I like to call, a blowout. My definition of a blowout is when the amount of fecal matter exceeds the capacity of the diaper. Needless to say the diaper was no match for this round of poo. All hands were needed on deck to secure this atrocious situation. He even got it on his socks. I have no idea how this was accomplished. After five of the longest minutes of my life little man was clean, stripped down, and hubby was sent in to a store to buy baby pants. I feel like our entire family is changed forever having lived through this trauma. 

To make the situation even better, when my hubby went into the store for pants he also decided to get chocolate. Considering the color of explosion I'm not entirely sure what he was thinking, but I rolled with it. So we're driving home and his chocolate got a little melted. He goes to lick it off of his finger and he and I both have the same thought but we are both powerless to put the brakes on what he is doing. The horrid thought that crossed both of our minds at the same time was something along the lines of 'Mother of God what if that's not chocolate!'. I swear the moment went into slow motion as we both waited for what could have been a truly horrific experience. I will not keep you in suspense though, it was in fact chocolate. I later informed him though that I would have laughed my ass off had it not been. Of course that laughter would have completely been out of love and sympathy.

The picture you see is of little man on the ride home after the incident. He illustrated how we were all feeling that afternoon.

The Misadventures of a Computer Illiterate Stay at Home Mom

Let me just start out by saying that my knowledge of computers is extremely limited. I will freely admit this in hopes that you will laugh with me at my own foolishness and not call me names for what could easily be described as idiocy. I'm also writing this in hopes that I can prevent anybody from making the same mistake I did.


So I decided to embark on making a blog (obviously considering what you're reading this very moment). I knew there was going to be a decent amount of work going into this, so I put my big girl panties on and got prepared. Or at least I thought I got prepared. I had no idea as to how to go about this whole thing so I consulted the all mighty Google. I found a couple of  'helpful' links and proceeded on my merry way.


This is where things get good on my part. Being so new to this and all I was under the impression that things had to be payed for. I don't know for sure if that was the correct assumption even now. What I do know is if it looks sketchy and you have to pay for it chances are it is sketchy and you should run away as fast as you can. Or in my case, due to pregnancy, waddle with a vengeance.


I'm not going to specify the name of the website that I chose, but let me tell ya I should have known based on the name alone. Anyway, back to my tale of derp. So I'm chugging along with this little website. I've got a couple pages set up, but what I want is a blog. So I hit the 'add blog' option. I get it all plugged in and hit publish. I wait until it tells me it is all updated so I can rush over and marvel at my own creation. Everything BUT the blog page works. After trying to fiddle with it myself I decide to take a mental break. While on my little mental vacation I discover that I can do everything I just did for free with the site I'm using now. FREE. MOTHER F-ING FREE! (Can you tell I'm still mildly bent about the whole thing?)


It gets better though, and by better I mean frustrating to the point of twitching and then actually better. After finding out this tid bit of info about doing all this free of charge I decide that it's best to cancel the account I had been working on all day. Simple enough, right? Wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. I go to the cancellations section of the website and its just a blank page. Well it's not totally blank, on the bottom there is a little comment box wanting to know if this page had been helpful. Hmmm, I'm going to go with a no. I end up having to call their customer support. I am informed that it's not customary for them to do refunds. After a couple of deep breaths and some negotiation I am informed that my money will in fact be coming back to me. That remains to be seen but I am keeping an eye on it.


If this is all in fact common knowledge and I am just a dope I am fully prepared to blame pregnancy brain for any absent minded decisions that I made in the beginning of this process. I hope you learned something from this because I certainly did. Has anyone had something similar happen? (I can't really be the only one can I?)

Noise Making Toys Are Evil

If you're a parent you know how absolutely torturous children's toys can be. Sure they seem like an excellent idea when you're in the store. Your child sees it and their little eyes light up with the thought of playing with the most awesome gadget they have ever laid eyes on. Sound familiar? Next thing you know you're home and that toy has been squawking non-stop since you pried the damn thing out of the box. The annoying songs are stuck in your head and when you lay down to sleep at night they are all you can think of.


That is exactly what the hub and I are going through with the very toy that I have pictured on the left. I do think the hub hates this toy more than I do. The best part about that is HE is the one who picked out the toy.


Another personal favorite of mine is when Bub goes around to all of his toys and makes sure that they are all playing obnoxiously at the same time. I'll go around and turn most of them off so that my head doesn't explode, but alas that makes me the biggest Momma Wench that ever was. Either way the noise level is downright horrid. Am I alone here?   .